Hallelujah
by Deductioness
Summary: Sam has had a guardian angel all along.  Slight AU  Sam-centric  Rated for language and possible lemons later
1. Chapter 1

Have you ever been so in love that you can't imagine your life without that person? Or if they suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth, you don't know what you'd do? I have. I still am. His name is Sam Winchester and I've loved him since he was just born. But let me introduce myself first. My name is Amelia James and I died in a car accident 51 years ago, and counting, that left my mother in a comatose state and my father an alcoholic.

How am I writing this if I'm dead, you may ask? I'm an angel, and I've been one ever since my death. I guess my strong faith during my short nineteen years wasn't in vain. I was in denial for my first few months in Heaven. I didn't want to believe that I was actually dead, that a single drunk driver could drastically alter a family's life so much. Then one day, as I sat in my room, an angel appeared. He introduced himself as Castiel and said that I must come with him. Of course, me being the strong-willed newcomer that I was, refused. However, when I was suddenly in another room in the blink of an eye, I realized that I had no choice anymore.

"Welcome, Amelia," A man in a formal suit and tie stood in front of me.  
My brow wrinkled and I asked, "Who are you?"  
The man smiled and took a step towards me, "I am the one you devoted your human life to."  
My eyes widened and automatically I fell to my knees in front of my Lord, my hands twining together as I closed my eyes and savored His holy presence.  
"Stand, child," He said and gave me his hand to help me from my kknees.  
I reluctantly looked on him, "Lord, why did I have to die so young? My life wasn't lived to it's extent. I left my parents alone."  
"Because I have a plan for you. You have a very special purpose."

I was baffled. Me? A special purpose? But I'm just a girl from Kentucky!  
"You are to watch over a special child. His name is Sam Winchester and he must be protected."  
"Anything for you, Lord," I pause, "How am I to protect him?"  
"He is to be born May 2nd, 1983. You are to be sure he is steered on the right path. I will give you the power to appear in his dreams. Guide him. Do what you deem necessary."  
"I will not fail you, Lord."

So that's how I came to be his guardian. The day he was born I rejoiced; he was the most beautiful child I had ever seen before. As he grew up I was his conscience. I appeared to him in a dream as a toddler, as a ten year old girl, as a teenager, as myself the day I died the day he turned 18. I became his best friend, his mentor, his sister, his mother. When he left home, I was there to comfort him. I smiled when he met Jess. Still I appeared in his dreams. I encouraged him to marry her, to go to law school, to be happy. The day that Dean showed up in his dorm room, I was confused. Sam was supposed to have a perfect life, not be reminded of his past… his father who hurt him so badly the day he left home. I went to Castiel, who had become my very best friend.

"Castiel, how can this be? Dean has returned in Sam's life and is jeopardizing his future. I don't know what to do," I said as we walked through one of Heaven's many gardens.  
"You must let events play out as they will. You cannot control every aspect of his life."  
"But, Castiel, when He told me to protect and watch over Sam, I made a promise to do everything I could to make sure that his life was as perfect as it could be."  
"Just remember that if this is happening, it is according to His plan."  
I sighed, "You're right, Cas. Like always," I smiled and hugged him, "Thank you."  
"Any time Amelia," He hugs me back and kissed my forehead.

Through the years that followed, I watched Sam go through much suffering and trials that would test his faith, which he eventually lost. When he was killed, I wept, knowing that I had failed in my promise. When Dean sold his soul for him I knew that Sam's grief could not be any greater. Sam fought for Dean's life unfailingly and the day that Lilith came for Dean, he lost a part of himself that I feared he would never get back. The next month, I watched Sam ruin all that I had worked for. Finally, I decided that I had to take matters into my own hands. I went to my lord and begged him to let me go down to earth, told him that Sam needed my help. No matter how much I begged, however, He refused to let me. So I realized what I would have to do to save him. I would have to fall to earth.

I prepared myself over the next few days. This would be painful, but it was necessary. So finally I went to God, looked him in the eyes, and renounced him. Tears falling down my face, I watched his face turn to one of great sadness and then before I knew what was happening, I was falling. When I hit the ground, the pain was so excruciating that I couldn't breathe for a few seconds. Then I screamed. The agony lasted for hours and I screamed until my throat was raw and I couldn't anymore. When the pain finally subsided, I pushed myself to my feet. I looked down at myself and I was my nineteen year old self. And thank God, I had a plain white flowing dress on instead of nothing.

My head whipped up as I heard a car approaching, and Metallica's _One _blaring on the radio. I ran to the road and waved my arms until the car stopped. My breath was knocked out of me when I saw Sam and Dean Winchester get out of the car. The minute Sam saw me, his brow wrinkled and he walked toward me, "You… you're…"  
"What, Sammy?" Dean asked him, watching me.  
I smiled and silently thanked God for sending me to this spot.  
"Hello, Sam," I walked towards him and brought my hand up to his face to cup his cheek in my hand.  
"How are you here?" Sam asked me.  
"It's a long story, which I'll tell you later. For now, can we go to a place where I can sleep? I've been on a long journey to get here and I'm tired."  
"Yeah, come on," Sam said and guided me to the car, opening the door for me and closing it once I get in.  
As soon as my head hits the seat as I lie down in the back, I fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yay! Second chapter! Hope you guys like it! Please, please review! They make my day! :3  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the plot or characters that you recognize. Because, believe me, I'd do really different things with them if I did!

I woke up in a foreign bed. I was warm and felt completely safe. As I opened my eyes and took everything in I noticed Sam typing away at his computer.

As I sat up, Sam got up and walked over to the bed I was on, "Morning, sleepyhead. I was wondering how long you were going to sleep. You've been out for days."  
"I smiled wryly, "Just making up for lost time I guess."  
Sam's brow wrinkled, "What do you mean?"  
I sigh, "Dean's in the shower?"  
"Yeah. Amelia, what is it?"  
"I have a lot to tell you," I said and turned towards him, watching his face as I told him everything. That I was an angel, that I was given the task of watching over and protecting him, which is why I appeared in his dreams all his life, how and when I died, and why I fell.  
By the time I was done, his eyes were filled with tears and he looked away, "Sam. Look at me."  
He looked at me and I saw that two tears had fallen from his eyes. I smiled softly and brought my hands up to wipe his tears away, "Don't cry. Be happy."  
"How can I be happy knowing that the person I've loved so much all my life fell from Heaven for me? After all I've done?"  
"It was my choice. I could have stayed in Heaven and watched as you made mistake after mistake or I could have come down to Earth. He forbade me from coming so I had to do it. I've loved you since you were a tiny, beautiful baby and I'd do anything for you. Even fall."  
Telling him this made the tears flow freely and I held him to myself as he cried, whispering "It's okay, Sam," in his ear every so often until his sobbing ceased and he pulled back slowly from my embrace.  
"I'm sorry," He said and looked away, "I don't know why I just did that."  
I smiled and put a hand under his chin to turn his head, "You did it because you had an overwhelming amount of emotions. Which is understandable after all that's happened." I wiped his face free of tears and hugged him close to me.  
"Thanks for not making fun of me," He said, getting up and walking over to the bathroom; he splashed water on his face and sighed heavily before wiping his face dry with a towel.  
"Why would I make fun of you for crying?" I ask, truly confused.  
"That's what Dean would do," he said, trying to smile, though it came out as a grimace, and came back to sit next to me on the bed.  
"That's ridiculous, I will never make fun of you for showing emotion."  
"Well that's good. Because I have a sneaking suspicion that you being around and Dean not being around will make it hard to keep my emotions in check a lot of the time."  
"Well that's good. Because I have a sneaking suspicion that you being around and Dean not being around will make it hard to keep my emotions in check a lot of the time."  
I smile, "How long has it been since you've slept?"  
"I can't remember, exactly."  
"You should sleep, Sam," I said to him.  
"I just haven't felt safe sleeping," he said, "but now that you're here, I think I can."

He walked around to the side of the bed and pulled the covers back, "Will you lay with me?"  
"Of course," I got up and walked around the other side to get under the covers with him.  
An unexpected pooling feeling in my stomach happened when he pulled me close to his body and wrapped his arms around me. My movements were slow and my brow wrinkled as I relax into his embrace, adjusting to this feeling. This was definitely not like hugging Castiel. This embrace was sinful. It brought up feelings I had never felt before. The feelings of a wife to her husband as they made love. This feeling stayed through the entire night, even as Sam slept and his grip loosened on me.

When it began to dwell in the early hours of the morning, there was a knock at the door. I expected and waited for Sam to wake up. He didn't. So I untangled myself from Sam and the bedsheets and walked over to the door. I looked through the peephole and my eyes narrowed to see Ruby, the demon who was deceiving him. Without thinking that I was no longer and angel, and therefore was completely and utterly helpless with no skills in fighting, I pulled the door open and raised an eyebrow at her, "Can I help you?"  
She looked past me and to the sleeping Sam on the bed and brushed past me, "No thanks," she said over her shoulder.  
"Hey!" I grabbed her jacket and yanked her back from reaching the bed.  
She whirled on me and pulled out a knife from the inside of her jacket, pinning me against the wall and pressing the blade to my neck hard, drawing blood. I closed my eyes and I prayed that I had still retained some of my powers, or that God would grant me at least some of my powers back.

Suddenly my body was filled with a white hot energy and I opened my eyes. As I began to panic as the blades edge dug deeper into my skin, I did the only thing I could think of to do: I quickly began to began pushing at her wrist and her face to get her off. Suddenly a scream erupted from one of our throats (hers, I later figured out) and there was a bright flash of light that filled the room. I covered my eyes with my hands and fell to the ground in exhaustion.  
"'Melia! Are you okay?" A groggy, sleep filled voice resounded in my ears and I forced my eyes open.  
"Sam?" I whispered quietly and looked around for him.  
"Hey, I'm right here, what happened?"  
"It was Ruby. She came to see you. And I couldn't let her keep using you like she does. So I pulled her away from the bed and she pinned me against the wall and almost cut my throat but then I just… I don't know. I prayed that I had retained some of my powers as an angel and I guess He answered my prayers." I send a silent thank you prayer up to God that He had saved my life.

I looked down at the lifeless body that Ruby was once inhabiting and leaned down to close her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy! Don't forget to review!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything... unfortunately. Everything you recognize is owned by Eric Kripke.

Later that day, we had decided that it was necessary to go shopping. And the closest place to go shopping was the mall a few miles away. So early the next morning, we began driving. It was about 5 minutes later when we arrived. Sam had given be his coat since: one, I had no bra on, which would attract unwanted attention, and two, I was cold since it was only 25 degrees outside. We walked into the mall and immediately went straight for a store called Victoria's Secret. "Well this is for bras and underwear. You should only need a few bras and you should get a bunch of underwear."  
"Okay," I look down at myself and then back up at Sam, "I don't know my sizes. It's been so long since I've had to buy a bra."  
"Well you look to be around a C. But, uh, I'll get someone to help you and I'll go get us some food. I'll come back in 20 minutes to pay and we'll move on. Okay?"  
Twenty minutes later I had a mesh bag filled with 3 bras, (tan, white, and black lace as suggested by the woman helping me) and matching colored underwear of various types (boy shorts, thong, bikini) and when Sam returned he paid and we moved on to the Gap. I got a few pairs of jeans in my size and a bunch of shirts and sweaters. Then we went to Payless to get some sneakers and I also got a pair of boots. He then took me to get a cell phone, and I had no idea what it was. Sam got me the easiest cell phone model they had, and taught me the basics of how to use it. Then the last store we went to was American Eagle for a coat. After getting the jacket, we went to the bathrooms and I took a matching bra and underwear, a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and sneakers and walked into the bathroom, emerging 5 minutes later with my clothes on. I pulled at the hem of my shirt nervously as Sam's eyebrows rose, "You look great," he said and handed me my jacket, picking up the various bags we had amassed during our shopping trip.  
I smile slightly and look down at myself, I wasn't accustomed to wearing clothes like this and felt slightly out of place, "Thank you, Sam," I said and walked over to him.

We headed towards the food court and as we walked, I kept getting strange looks from a lot of the men we walked by so I said to Sam, "Sam, do I have something on my face?"  
He looked at me, "Uh, no, why?  
"Because a lot of the men are staring at me and giving me strange looks"  
Sam immediately whipped his head around, looking for any guy that was looking at me and put a protective arm around my waist, making me give him a strange look, "Sam, what are you doing?"  
I thought for a moment, shrugged my shoulders and pulled us to a stop. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him softly. Sam's eyes went wide for a second before closing as he kissed me back. The kiss continued for a good ten seconds before I pulled back.  
"What was that for?" Sam asked breathlessly.  
"Well, boyfriends and girlfriends kiss, don't they? I was trying to make it believable.  
Sam's brow furrowed for a minute, almost as if he was thinking seriously about something, before he once again wrapped his arm around my waist and we began to walk towards the food court.

* * *

Once we got out of the mall and were walking towards the car I decided that I needed to cut my hair, which reached almost to my backside.  
"We can go to a salon and you can get it cut," Sam said as we loaded the bags into the backseat.  
"Okay," I said and we got into the car to go to the nearby strip mall where there was a salon.

An hour and a half later Sam returned to the salon per my text request (I was always a quick learner). I stood inside to keep warm and as soon as I saw Sam's car pull up, I ran outside and got into the car. Sam stared at me with eyebrows raised. I definitely looked nothing like the angel that appeared in his dreams. My hair reached down to the middle of my back and it was highlighted with a darker blonde and caramel and I had thick side bangs that blended into the layers that were cut into my hair. I smile sheepishly, "You like it?"  
"You look," he paused and looked from my hair to my eyes, "beautiful."  
I grinned for the first time since I was on earth and my compulsiveness controlled me for a moment as I leaned over and kissed Sam's cheek for a few seconds longer than anything friendly.  
He smiled, showing his adorable dimples, and we drove off towards the motel.  
As he smiled, I thought to myself, 'I can't really be _in love _with him, can I? All his life I've looked after him and guided him. I've watched him go through good and bad times. I've watched him grieve, never thinking of myself and always wanting him to be happy. But never once did I think of myself. Then finally it hit me. I _was_ in love with Sam Winchester.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Chapter 4 up! Hope you guys enjoy! Remember to review! Haven't gotten any reviews yet =/ plz plz review?  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing Kripke's characters.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, Sam and I grew even closer being close to each other every day. He had decided to take a break from hunting now that I was with him and untrained. We moved on to a small town in Kentucky, getting a room with two beds.

Since we hadn't heard anything from Ruby, we had assumed that I had sent her to hell. Until one day when I had walked across the street to get some coffee early in the morning while Sam was still asleep. As I walked back, I got a strange sense that something was wrong.

So I picked up my pace and as I got to the door, unlocked it and found that I couldn't open the door. I began to panic when I looked in the window and saw Ruby tying Sam to the bed as he slept. I began banging on the window, trying to break it, but it wouldn't budge. It seemed that all my efforts were in vain. "Sam! Wake up!" I screamed at him through the window, but nothing I did could wake him up. However, Ruby looked up and saw me through the window and grinned. She walked over to the window, "You can't get in unless I want you to get in. See, the downside of having an angel's powers? You're considered an angel, which means I can keep you out with a simple spell."  
"Don't you dare do anything to him, or I swear I'll kill you myself!" I banged on the window once again and Ruby just laughed and walked away.

She walked around to the side of the bed and pushed Sam's hair out off his forehead. She leaned down to whisper something in his ear, waking him up. He began pulling on the restraints and said, "Where's Amelia?"  
"Gone, Sam."  
"What do you mean, gone? Where the fuck is she? What did you do to her?"  
"Don't worry, she didn't feel a thing," she gloated and straddled his hips.  
He tried to buck her off to no avail. She stayed put and grabbed a knife, "I know you want this. That girl was just distracting you from what you've wanted all along. My blood. It makes you strong, keeps you healthy."  
"No! I don't want it! Stay away from me!" She simply smiled and cut her wrist so deeply that blood began to flow like a faucet down her arm. She forced Sam's mouth open, against his protests, and force fed him her blood. Tears began to fall down my face and I banged on the window. Once the blood stopped flowing on that arm, she cut her other wrist and made him drink the blood on her other arm. This time, he struggled less and drank deeply. I looked on in disgust and once she was done she released him from his restraints. He laid there for a few minutes then sat up. She said something to him in his ear and he turned toward the window, toward me. Then, he moved quickly toward the window and smashed it, pulling me inside by my neck. I gasped for breath as I look up at him, seeing his eyes completely black. "Sam, please, stop. It's Amelia. It's me," I gasped and pulled at his hands. His brow wrinkled and he loosened his grip on me, "Amelia?" He blinked and let me go. I collapsed against the nearby wall.

"Oh my God, Amelia, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. She told me you had killed… well, yourself. And I didn't see you I saw a monster. A horrible thing, and I was so angry I just—" He cut off and kneeled in front of me, "Are you alright?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine," I frantically looked around for Ruby, "Is she gone?"  
"She's gone. She left the body she was in."  
I pulled myself to my feet and looked around for Ruby, but only found the body she had inhabited. A pretty redhead that I recognized from last night at the diner we had dinner at.  
I sighed and walked over to the window, examining the damage, "We better move on to the next town before the owner realizes what's happened. Unless you want to pay for this window," I turn around and look at him.  
"Yeah, we should definitely get out of here," Sam said and began rushing to get our stuff together.

* * *

A few hours later, we had gotten out of that town and moved onto one about 2 hours away. I had fallen asleep about an hour and a half into the trip and was awoken by Sam. As I opened my eyes, I felt Sam's hand stroking my cheek and heard him saying my name, telling me to wake up. My brow wrinkled, "Sam? What are you doing?"  
He pulled his hand away and blushed, "Uh, sorry. Just trying to wake you up."  
I wanted to scream at him to touch me again, anywhere. Just to keep contact with me, make me feel that electricity I felt whenever his hand would brush mine or he would hold me close. To my dismay, he walked over towards what I only assumed was the check in desk. I sat there and woke myself up, stretching and yawning, before I reached into the back of the car and grabbed my bag. I got out of the car, shut the door, and began walking towards Sam who was walking back to the car holding two room keys. He handed me one and we went to our respective rooms.

I changed from my sweatpants and baggy sweatshirt I had picked up at a flea market in the last town and into a pair of jeans and a tank top with my boots. I heard a knock at my door and I went to open it, pulling my long hair back into a ponytail, "Hey Sam," I said and walked away from the door, letting him close it.  
"Hey. Listen, there's a bar a few miles away. We're running out of money, and I'm going to go do some hustling. I don't think it'd be a good idea to leave you alone in case Ruby shows up," he said.  
I grabbed my coat, "Okay, let's go."

* * *

Five minutes later, we pulled up to the bar and as we were walking in, I coughed at the cloud of smoke that hit my face, "This is what bars are like?" I whispered in Sam's ear "This is terrible. How are you supposed to breathe in here?"  
Sam laughed, his dimples showing and making me smile internally, "You get used to it after a while."  
We walked up to the bar and Sam ordered a beer and looked at me, "You want something?"  
I thought for a moment and then said, "What you're having."  
His eyebrows shot up and he ordered it, "You want a beer?"  
"Well I've never had one, and I guess if I fell, I should have some fun while I'm down here."  
He grinned and shrugged, grabbing our beers before guiding us to an empty table, "Okay, so I'll get a few beers in me, enough to be slightly tipsy and able to fake being stumbling drunk and then I'll challenge those guys over there to a game," he nodded over to some scary looking guys at a pool table.  
"Those guys?" I said, fearfully, "But they're big… and scary. And what if you get hurt?"  
"I can hold my own, believe me. I've done it before."  
I looked him up and down, his towering frame, his muscular build and then looked back up at his face, "I suppose you could. Just be careful."  
"I will," he smiled slightly and took a sip of his beer.  
I looked down at my beer and took a small sip, grimacing at the taste, "This is gross."  
"You want something else? I know Jess used to get something called an apple martini. I had a sip one time. Not my taste, but maybe you'd like it more," I saw the flicker of hurt that passed his face when he mentioned Jess's name.  
"Sure," I said and pushed my beer in front of him.

* * *

Five apple martinis later I was struggling to stay upright in my seat and was giggling profusely, it seemed I was unable to stop laughing for whatever reason. Sam had left to go hustle some money from the unsuspecting men, leaving me alone and ordering another drink at the bar. I jumped when there was suddenly a man standing next to me, ordering some shots. He looked down at me and smirked, "You okay there, little lady?"  
I grinned, "I'm more than okay."  
"I can see that. You here alone?"  
"No, I'm here with..." I gestured to Sam at the pool table.  
"The tall guy?"  
I nodded and took a sip of my drink, the world around me beginning to spin.  
"Well, you're all by yourself. You want to come sit with me and my friends?"  
"Sure!"  
I stumbled, with the help of the nice brunette, over to his table with his two friends.  
"Guys, this is…" He looked expectantly at me.  
"Amelia. I'm Amelia," I said enthusiastically.  
They all laughed and one of the men got up to let me sit.

* * *

After I finished my last apple martini, I started to become way too flirty for my own good. Not that the men around me minded much. They started to get closer to me and I leaned against one of them to stay upright.  
He leaned down in my ear and whispered, "Hey, Amelia, you wanna get out of here?"  
"And do what?"  
The man grinned and whispered something in his friends ear and his friend nodded, grinning.  
Before I knew it, the man was helping me out of my seat by my elbow, "Wait, Sam is still here. I can't leave Sam."  
"Sam'll be fine," The man said as he walked me out of the bar.  
I pulled away from him and fell on the ground, grimacing in pain, "Sam!" I yelled, trying to get up.

Before I knew it, Sam was as my side, "Hey, Amelia, are you okay?"  
"Yeah, these guys tried to take me 'way. Talkin' 'bout takin' me somewhere," I looked around for the guys, but they had disappeared out the door.  
Sam helped me to my feet and helped me as I stumbled out to the car. We finally got to the car and he helped me into the back seat and started to close the door. "Wait, Sam."  
He leaned into the back, "Yeah?"  
"I wanna tell you something that I have wanted to tell you for a while."  
"What's that?"  
I leaned into him and kissed him for a few seconds before pulling back and staring into Sam's shocked face.  
"What was that for?"  
"That's what I wanted to tell you. I've loved you ever since you were born and I thought until recently that it was only the kind of love that a mother would give her son but ever since I fell I've realized that since you became this man… this beautiful, amazing man, that I love you as more than that."  
Sam stared at me for a moment and then said, "You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."  
"But I do know what I'm saying, Sam."  
He clenched his jaw and looked away from me, "Once you get some Advil in you and puke all this up, you'll feel better and you'll regret saying all this."  
"But, Sam—" He then closed the door and walked to the drivers side door, opened it, and got in. He started the car and we drove away towards the hotel.


End file.
